A friend remarked this morning, “I miss your personal blogs.”  It made me think.  I was writing much more personal stuff when I was much more stressed, anxious, in turmoil, etc.  That’s not to say that my life has now calmed down particularly, but I noticed when I woke up that I was less stressed than I’ve been in…longer than I can remember.  Of course, now I’ve been up a few hours and I’ve got new stresses, but that lovely awakening, with the skies blue and the sun shining, the birds chasing each other around the split-rail fence, it was almost as good as I’ve felt for ages.

But back to my friend’s comment — I suppose everything I write is personal – after all, I’m a person, so how could it be anything but?  I looked back at some of my older posts to try to see if I could see the difference between then and now, personal vs. less personal.  While perhaps it’s not as clear to me as to someone else, I do see the difference.

Looking at it from the inside out, as opposed to the outside in, as readers will see me, all I know is that I am changing, growing stronger.  I look back on some of the dark posts, and feel pleased that I didn’t take a handful of sleeping pills, that I didn’t give up.  Had I done so, I wouldn’t be here to see this lovely day. 

I suppose it’s similar to my question the other day about “soul-level” writing.  Am I not in touch with some level of my soul just now, and so I’m unable to write from my soul?  Is my muse on vacation?  Distracted?  I can’t say.  I’m afraid we’ll all just have to wait until I can get back in touch with her for more personal blog entries.  In the meantime, I hope you enjoy what you get.