It feels like so very much longer than three months.  My goodness, this year feels as if it has lasted much longer that three months.  So let’s check in.

We’ve got the child support payments taken care of.  That’s good.  And I’m in compliance with the court order and have gotten insurance for Kelsea through Cobra (or Snake, as she calls it.)  $384/month isn’t bad for the two of us, but it’s still outcome, and I don’t yet have the income to balance it.

Pat calls me “ex” now on the phone sometimes, where he used to call me “wife”.  I guess it’s okay with me.  He almost never called me Amy.  He complimented me on a shirt the other day – guess he thinks I’m prettier now that I’m down by 16 pounds.  His loss!

The whole thing feels incredibly strange still.  But I must say that most days, especially if I am busy, I don’t have that sense of surreality, that this is just a phase.   I am happy with my freedom and would never go back. 

Strangely enough, though I noticed it slightly before, Pat’s scent has changed.  At least it has changed for me.  It is very unappealing now.  Like the pheromones have been reset or switched off.

I can’t help but wonder how much the divorce has impacted Kelsea’s mood levels that naturally accompany adolescence.  But divorce is one of those things (like having kids) that it’s never the perfect time for.

What I know right now is that I am on some kind of new path – I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know something will.  Something good.  And I know I never could have gotten on this path without leaving my former marriage. 

I guess I’m doing okay.  It’s still up and down.  One day at a time.  One month at a time.  One diary entry at a time.