You are currently browsing the daily archive for December 26, 2010.

Well, Christmas has thankfully come and gone.  Never in my life have I had such a shortage of the holiday spirit, nor been so glad to see Santa in the rearview mirror of my soul.

It wasn’t a bad Christmas in itself – it was the lead-up to it.  As ooky as Christmas Eve was, Christmas Day was quite pleasant.  I went to Pat and Kelsea’s house, my nieces came, and we had a very nice time.  Then my nieces and I spent about 3 hours in the ER at the local hospital, due to Niece #2’s kidney infection.  Even that was nice – Niece #1 is in a similar life situation as I, so we talked a  lot while Niece #2 was under the influence of a couple of Percosets. 

Returning home, I just sort of noodled around.  I introduced my newest family member – Dude – to the house:

I am a strange person, and this is something I’ve always wanted.  Dude came as a gift from my former guy.  It was tough being without my former guy at Christmas.  I had chosen things for him with joy, pleasure and love, and I had been so looking forward to sharing the revelation of such gifts with him – I know he enjoyed said revelation without me and for that I am glad.  He spent Christmas Eve and Christmas with friends, and I am glad for that as well.  I will tell him though, that if he wants to see what it’s like to go it alone, he should try spending Christmas Eve alone, as I did.  It’s about the truest experience of being alone that there is.  But (perhaps fool that I am), I still love him and would never wish that on him or another living soul. 

That’s in the past now, and even though it’s not the New Year, I think of this post-Christmas period as the start of the new year.  All the holiday fuss has died down, and we can move onto the next thing, and the next thing is the next year, even if the calendar page hasn’t turned yet.

I hope that I and the people I love can find their way to peace in months to come.  I hope that love returns to me in the next year.  I hope for new adventures and reawakened dreams.  There’s much I hope for.  I’ll save some of that for another day’s writing.  Right now, it just feels good to feel a little bit better.  I know all the bad feelings will swing back around, but I appreciate it when they’re gone.

December 2010
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