I am lonely in a strange way tonight. 

I had a long, hard day.  I’ve had about 9 hours of sleep in the last 72 hours and I’m pooped.  But I accomplished what I set out to accomplish at work today – well, not quite, but I did the absolute best that I could, having only been there 7 days. 

I had cocktails with a nice guy, the same guy I went dancing with last Friday.  It was pleasant.  I was happy and sleepy when I took the late bus home.  I’m really sleepy now, watching some old Lana Turner/Ricardo Montalban movie on the Bonnet Channel.  Who can NOT watch Ricardo Montalban?  I’ve eaten, called Kelsea (like 5 times because I kept remembering things I meant to tell her).  I have some cautiously good news that I’ll share later, just to keep you reading and in suspense.

I was lonely though, when I got home. It’s interesting. Sometimes, when I’m slightly smugly happy, I feel REALLY alone.  I want to share that slice of joy I feel with someone else, and strangers just won’t do.  That’s why I sent an “I miss you” message tonight.  And why I came home and checked my incredibly bizarre E-Harmony matches.  I’m not ready to be in a relationship.  In fact, I am totally dedicated to being on my own and manless (and, yes, womanless, not that I had considered that as a viable option).   This is the time for me to learn, to ache, to grow, to gather my own power, so perhaps later I can be invaluablely precious to myself and to someone else.

And so now, it’s 10:00.  Kelsea and I have a really “cool” day planned tomorrow (with her really cool friend Will) but it’s one more thing I’ll leave you in suspense about (gasp – did I really end that sentence with a preposition?)  Suffice it to say, after last weekend’s auctions and alpacas, this coming weekend will be another thrill!

Sleep well – or if it’s already Saturday – have a lovely day, my friends.