Tonight, around 1:45 in the morning, is the fifth anniversary of my Mother’s death. It has been a difficult week of remembering her last days. In my mind, I can travel back to any minute of that week and be right there. And that is hard. It has been easier this year than in past years, but still hard. There have been so many times this past year – these past five years – that I have wished with all my heart that I could talk to her. Really talk to her, not just to her spirit. I wish I could have asked for her advice, felt her love and support and comfort, heard her joy and her delight and pride in me. I can’t have that. I can never have that again.
It’s so hard. Especially through these hard years.
I love you always, Mother. I know you’re having an amazing time wherever you are. But I sure do miss you.
16 comments
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December 11, 2011 at 8:35 pm
Cin
~hugs~ ❤
December 11, 2011 at 8:37 pm
Seasweetie
Thanks, Cin.
December 11, 2011 at 9:22 pm
slpmartin
Peace be with you.
December 11, 2011 at 9:59 pm
Just A Smidgen
I am so sorry to read this tonight.. sending you prayers and hugs…
December 11, 2011 at 10:07 pm
Seasweetie
Thank you, smidge.
December 12, 2011 at 6:53 am
suzicate
Hugs to you today.
December 12, 2011 at 10:14 am
Seasweetie
Thank you, suzicate. Now is a time when I feel drawn back to my roots, where you are.
December 12, 2011 at 1:42 pm
waywardbound
My heart goes out to. We are all products of past. Mamas have influences on us we don’t even realize.
December 13, 2011 at 3:59 am
cantfindmenow
I know……………………..
December 13, 2011 at 10:19 am
Seasweetie
Hugs, cantfindmeow.
December 13, 2011 at 7:39 am
waywardbound
I thought about the picture you included today. The look of contentment on grandma’s face with Kelsea snuggled up to her is priceless. Kelsea looks like she has a hold on life and love. I miss my grandma, that is also a special love. Thank you for that trip down memory lane.
December 13, 2011 at 10:19 am
Seasweetie
They adored each other, waywardbound. They are so much alike in so many ways. I’m so glad you saw that in the picture.
December 14, 2011 at 11:03 am
Rosebud
The pain of loss takes us to the place where our hearts often didn’t know how deeply they dwelled. Your compassion for your own as well as other’s lives is so evident in your writings and photos. Thank you
December 14, 2011 at 11:13 am
Seasweetie
Thank you for your lovely words, Rosebud, and thank you for coming to visit.
December 14, 2011 at 11:26 am
pegoleg
I’m sorry for this sad anniversary. This is a tough time of year to lose someone you love. I hope all your great memories are a comfort to you.
December 14, 2011 at 11:44 am
Seasweetie
Thank you, pegoleg, they are.