Ah, those winter blues. SAD has made its customary January appearance. I was hoping it would pass my house, like the creeping mist passed the houses marked with a cross when striking down the firstborn of Israel, or wherever – sorry, my knowledge of such things is from vague memories of watching Charlton Heston in The Ten Commandments.
Remember SAD? Seasonal Affective Disorder? Yes, my nemesis of the frigid months. I wrote about it here last year. I realized that I’ve been feeling twinges for a month – it has just manifested differently this year. I have been feeling rundown and almost sick but not sick enough to stay home for almost a month. Yesterday, I realized that it wasn’t my body feeling bad. It was my brain. I was just manifesting it in my body for a while. Once I figured that out, my brain grabbed the ball and ran with it. Weird, especially since, I’ve been particularly happy with MKL, and happy with work, and happy with Kelsea.
So now that the bleus are out of the bag, they are on a bit of a rampage. Worries about money, about health, about paying for Kelsea’s college, about never being able to travel again. I’m going wild with worry. I have decided to let it flow, and run its course for a day or two, to see if that helps. In the meantime, I splurged (even though I’m feeling very broke) and ordered a SAD light that can come with me to work. I’m trying to walk more every day. I’m making sure not to miss my happy pills. I’m trying to clean one thing a day, to relax the chaos that I feel surrounds me at home. And I’m hoping we can head up to Cottonwood for a blissful brain break in the next couple of weeks.
I may complain a bit, but it’s therapeutic. Thanks for letting me whine.
Photo of the Day for January 3, 2012: A Window of Blue
Cripple Creek, Colorado.
Quote of the day: “When I reach the place of my dreams. I will thank my failures and tears. They too, kept me going.” — Dodinsky
Daily gratitudes:
The amazing sunrise this morning
The parking attendant who wished me a blessed day
The man playing fetch with his dog in the dark used a blue neon dog toy
The amazing big bright falling star on the way home tonight
The new MAC at work
10 comments
Comments feed for this article
January 4, 2012 at 12:00 am
anorwen
Best photo I’ve seen today! Thanks for sharing 🙂
January 4, 2012 at 12:09 am
Seasweetie
Thanks so much, anorwen!
January 4, 2012 at 12:06 am
Cin
Venting is always good for the soul. And I understand. I’m fairly certain the entire city has SAD here. you can see it in the winter how grumpy everyone is with the constant grey.
Hope you feel better soon! I tend to treat myself when it feels bad too. Bubble baths and good books and candy.
January 4, 2012 at 12:10 am
Seasweetie
Ugh, Cin – this can last for months. I just wish I could get home in time for a bath and a book. The candy, well, that seems to sneak in at certain points during the day.
January 4, 2012 at 5:24 am
TBM
Ah the winter blues. Worries seem to multiply like rabbits. I wish you happiness. It is good to write about these things to get them off of your chest. I like Cin’s method of coping with the blues.
January 4, 2012 at 8:37 am
Seasweetie
Me too, TBM.
January 4, 2012 at 6:38 am
suzicate
I’m not particularly fond of cold weather either. Here’s to sunshine!
January 4, 2012 at 8:38 am
Seasweetie
I’ll toast to that, suzicate.
January 4, 2012 at 8:56 am
slpmartin
Every time I get upset with SoCal…I am reminded about Winter and SAD…then I stop complaining…hope you get some warm sunshine soon. 🙂
January 4, 2012 at 10:30 am
Seasweetie
If I don’t, slp, it’s off to the tanning bed!