Ah, those winter blues.  SAD has made its customary January appearance. I was hoping it would pass my house, like the creeping mist passed the houses marked with a cross when striking down the firstborn of Israel, or wherever – sorry, my knowledge of such things is from vague memories of watching Charlton Heston in The Ten Commandments.

Remember SAD? Seasonal Affective Disorder? Yes, my nemesis of the frigid months.  I wrote about it here last year. I realized that I’ve been feeling twinges for a month – it has just manifested differently this year. I have been feeling rundown and almost sick but not sick enough to stay home for almost a month. Yesterday, I realized that it wasn’t my body feeling bad. It was my brain. I was just manifesting it in my body for a while. Once I figured that out, my brain grabbed the ball and ran with it. Weird, especially since, I’ve been particularly happy with MKL, and happy with work, and happy with Kelsea.

So now that the bleus are out of the bag, they are on a bit of a rampage. Worries about money, about health, about paying for Kelsea’s college, about never being able to travel again. I’m going wild with worry. I have decided to let it flow, and run its course for a day or two, to see if that helps. In the meantime, I splurged (even though I’m feeling very broke) and ordered a SAD light that can come with me to work. I’m trying to walk more every day. I’m making sure not to miss my happy pills. I’m trying to clean one thing a day, to relax the chaos that I feel surrounds me at home. And I’m hoping we can head up to Cottonwood for a blissful brain break in the next couple of weeks.

I may complain a bit, but it’s therapeutic. Thanks for letting me whine.

Photo of the Day for January 3, 2012:  A Window of Blue

Cripple Creek, Colorado.

Quote of the day: “When I reach the place of my dreams. I will thank my failures and tears. They too, kept me going.” — Dodinsky

Daily gratitudes:
The amazing sunrise this morning
The parking attendant who wished me a blessed day
The man playing fetch with his dog in the dark used a blue neon dog toy
The amazing big bright falling star on the way home tonight
The new MAC at work