The verdict in the molestation trial of Jerry Sandusky is in: Guilty.
I read Yahoo Sports writer Dan Wetzel’s article just after breakfast. His previous articles about the case have been fair and shown no bias, which in itself marks him as an excellent journalist, particularly in the sports universe, which often rushed to the defense of its heroes and legends when their worthiness is challenged. With this article, it was as if Mr. Wetzel had let a dam burst. There is no mistaking his personal feelings about this case. And I admire him for expressing them.
I am glad that Sandusky’s victims have found some justice. What happened to them can never be undone, and has left permanent scars but perhaps this gives them an opportunity to live somewhat more peacefully with those scars, knowing their stories have been told, and believed. They have been vindicated.
My own reaction to this verdict has fascinated me. This man is guilty. And yet, somehow, when I read the verdict, I felt a strum of guilt, sorrow, and doubt in myself. Like my childhood self remembering how I must have been mistaken about what was happening, how I should respect and pity my abuser, how it was me that was crazy, not him – not an old grandfatherly figure. Shit.
This has stirred up a lot of stuff for me. How we protect our abusers by our silence, and how we are mentally manipulated by them so that the concept of right and wrong is twisted into something like a cheap candelabra pulled from the ruins of an incredibly hot fire.
I am not one to revel in the misfortunes of others, even when they brought those misfortunes – and this guilty verdict – upon themselves. Perhaps I should find more peace in justice. Perhaps part of my own issue is that my abuser died before I (or anyone else) could confront him. And his sins died with him, except in the minds and souls of those others (and I’m sure there were other, not just me) that he abused. There was no justice there.
I guess I will have to think on this some more.
10 comments
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June 23, 2012 at 11:14 am
ceciliag
not being able to ask “Why did you do that?” or “Are you sorry?” is hard to live with, yet I sense an inner equilibrium in you that counters that and maybe mitigates it. I wish you well honey. You have been stirred up. And good for you for speaking out anyway so utterly truthfully.. c
June 23, 2012 at 10:18 pm
Seasweetie
Sometimes I wonder if naming him even now might help me.
June 23, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Celeste
The whole thing is horrible. My sister, who was abused like this as a child, is also really struggling with this case. It has stirred up many difficult emotions for her. I hope all who have been abused can find some peace.
June 23, 2012 at 10:16 pm
Seasweetie
I hope so too, Celeste
June 24, 2012 at 7:02 pm
Cecelia Futch
This case has triggered more anger and painful memories than anything in recent history. It is good to “open the wound” in order to clean out the infection, but it is never easy or painless.
June 24, 2012 at 7:08 pm
Seasweetie
So very true. It is painful for many people, no matter what their personal experience with abuse – or with the players in the case – may be. I have received some harsh critcism of my own views, which doesn’t help my feelings, but doesn’t change my openess.
June 24, 2012 at 7:28 pm
Cecelia Futch
Blessings to you, and hugs.
June 25, 2012 at 6:29 am
Beth Ann
I can not begin to imagine what emotions you felt during this whole trial when you had your own personal experience with abuse. It is a horrible and ugly thing and it must be a very difficult thing to think about years later . I am sorry that you had to endure this and sorry that you have to relive it when a highly publicized case is brought to light. Hope that you can find the healing that you continue to need—it most likely will never go away, will it? Prayers….
June 25, 2012 at 8:46 am
Seasweetie
It has been 40 years (and some therapy) so no, I guess it will never go away. It’s a part of me.
June 25, 2012 at 8:53 am
Beth Ann
But it is an important part I would imagine. Part that makes you who you are today and allows you to be sensitive to others who have encountered similar things. Not that I would ever wish that kind of pain on anyone but it seems as if you have been able to move on and realize that it was indeed NOT YOU that was the problem. My heart breaks when I think about all of those who do not get help or can not work through it and whose lives are always lived in the shadow of it. 😦