My daughter was at a midnight premiere of “The Dark Knight Rises” here in Colorado last night. So was my niece.
Thank God they weren’t at the midnight premiere in Aurora some forty miles from home.
Like much of the world, I awoke to news of the mass shooting in a theater not too far away, a similar crowd to the one my darling girl was a part of last night. This morning when I left for work, she was still sleeping peacefully. I kissed her sleepy little self and told her I loved her. I don’t think she’ll mind if I share her Facebook post from about 4:00 a.m. this morning. She must have found out about this after she got home.
“I, much like thousands of other people across Colorado, went to see the midnight premier of The Dark Knight Rises. But while so many of us were sitting comfortably watching the movie we were all so excited for, at least 14 people, who were expecting a night like mine, were killed in a mass shooting in another midnight premier at the Century 16 theaters in Aurora, Colorado. My heart and thoughts go out to all of those who were injured or who lost someone in this senseless act of unprovoked violence. There really are no words to explain what happened this morning…”
I wish she had awakened me.
It breaks my heart, and as a parent, it terrifies me. MKL and I were driving through the Columbine neighborhood a week ago, and I got very quiet. I can’t go near that area without remembering the pain and terror and permanent destruction of lives and hearts and families that happened at Columbine High School. Ever since Kelsea started school, an incident like that has been hovering in my fears that live in that place in your brain that you can’t let go of, but can never bear to face.
Last night struck too close to home.
You can’t protect your children from insanity. You can’t lock them away so they’ll be safe forever. Life is unpredictable. And sometimes it is indescribably tragic and agonizing. And so often, so random. All you can do is, sadly, play out scenarios with them – “What would you do if…?” – coach them, and hope they never find themselves having to actually experience those moments, and put those practice scenes into action.
From the empath’s perspective, I am trying hard today NOT to go to the place where I feel the overwhelming pain of those who lost someone, or the staggering fear and panic of the people who were there. That’s my automatic response. But I don’t want to do that.
Today, I want to just say a prayer for those people, and for my own daughter.
As she said, there really are no words.
9 comments
Comments feed for this article
July 20, 2012 at 8:41 am
TBM
I couldn’t believe the news when I heard this morning. My thoughts are with the victims and their loved ones. Such mindless violence is so shocking. I was still in Colorado when Columbine happened. I can’t believe another shooting has marred a place that I love and miss.
July 20, 2012 at 9:08 am
Seasweetie
Thanks, TBM – I am so sad.
July 20, 2012 at 9:04 am
leahyetter
I thought of you when I heard the news this morning. A friend of mine is in Aurora but said on facebook that she and her husband were home in bed. My heart aches for those who lost their life in total terror and I’m so happy you and your daughter and friends are safe and sound. I also ache about Columbine. I remember watching it unfold live on TV and it just affected me in a way that silences me when I think about it to this day.
Again, so glad you all are okay. I join you in prayer for those involved.
July 20, 2012 at 9:53 am
Seasweetie
Thank you, Leah – yes, prayers are needed. Something like this is far-reaching in our lives and consciousness.
July 20, 2012 at 3:26 pm
slpmartin
As you say…no words can express the fear or grief.
July 20, 2012 at 4:32 pm
thesinglecell
It’s an incomprehensible thing. I’ve been trying to figure out how to write about it, myself. Sweet Kelsea was eloquent in her post. You’ve got a good girl, there.
July 20, 2012 at 4:37 pm
Seasweetie
Thanks, singlecell, I do. And I know if she’d been there, she’d have been the first to try to take him down. Regardless of the cost to herself. And it’s hard for me to know that. But she is who she is.
July 21, 2012 at 10:42 am
thepetalpusher
Nothing to say. It’s difficult to comprehend, it’s difficult to not let that pain go so deep that it won’t come back out. Someone’s boyfriend said that he wants everyone to remember his girlfriend’s name–not the killer’s–but we all know that the opposite will happen.
July 27, 2012 at 9:44 am
aurora borealis « Uprooted Magnolia
[…] In fact I couldn’t bring myself to write anything. To take the words from my friend Seasweetie, “there really are no […]