6:00 – Shower.

6:15 – Step on cat lurking under the edge of the tub as you get out of the shower.

6:20 – Finish apologizing to cat.

6:30 – Put contacts in.

6:50 – Finally finish putting contacts in because one feels like you’re putting broken glass in eye.

6:55 – Realize you have to skip breakfast in order to catch bus.

7:00 – Try to find frozen food to take for lunch.

7:05 – Watch one pound of frozen shrimp fly out of freezer and crash-land on special cat-milk-saucer brought carefully from 1000 miles away.

7:10 – Finish cleaning up shattered remnants of saucer.

7:11 – Wash floor with tears.

7:12 – Realize you’ve missed bus; drive to next Park n’ Ride.

7:20 – Find out you’ve been standing in the wrong bus line as correct bus is about to pull away.

8:10 – Arrive at destination bus station.

8:20 – Get coffee and ginger cookie on way to work to reset the crappy start of your day.

8:30 – Spill coffee on pants.

8:31 – Drop ginger cookie on floor.

8:33 – Eat crumbs of ginger cookie from carpet.

9:00 – Experience first hot flash of the day.

9:30 – While in bathroom, discover that you’ve put your underwear on inside out.

10:30 – Realize that your hair is sticking in out multiple directions – apparent bun failure.

10:31 – Take hair down.

10:32 – Discover you don’t have a hairbrush.

10:33 – Fluff hair hoping it will look fashionably tousled, instead of uncombed.

10:34 – Realize you forgot to put make-up on one eye.

10:35 – Wash make-up off other eye, resulting in appearing like you are sick or tired.

10:45 – Drop cell phone.

10:46 – Drop office keys while trying to recover cell phone.

10: 55 – Step on untied shoe bow while walking downstairs.

11:00 – Erase all memory of morning by snuggling into loving arms of fiancé.

I’m ready to start the afternoon.