Goose Poop

Did you know that when geese fly in formation, that they also poop in unison?

Well, neither did I until tonight.

At least I was in the truck.

There I was, driving along, all la-de-da-de-da, and suddenly there was ALL THIS MUD on the windshield and the hood!

But, WAIT!

There’s no mud on this road!

And how can mud get in the middle of the windshield?

(I had just noticed the large formation of geese in flight high above me.)

EWWWWWWWWWW!

It wasn’t like a little goose pooped on the truck.

It was like a herd of flying COWS pooped on the truck.

And it was only on the driver’s side.

It was like my truck and I were walking side by side down the street in Elizabethan England and my truck was being a gentleman and walking on the outside and someone opened their window and dumped the entire contents of ten chamberpots on him.

Using my windshield wipers just moved the poop around.

I could hear the geese laughing.

And now I have to go to the car wash.

And I have a fear of the car wash.

I always feel like the cleaning things are going to break through the windshield and kill me.

Sigh.

They say getting pooped on by a bird is lucky.

Perhaps I should buy a lottery ticket.