Sometimes silence is a good thing, and sometimes it’s not. The silence of a sunrise is a good thing. The silence of a loss is not. My daughter has been struggling with the suicide of a beautiful, bright friend, which is especially painful considering how she wants to help people. It hurts me to see her pain, when I can do nothing except be there. It was been 10 days now, and she is getting better but she’s still sad, which I reassure her is normal. She and I have both been sick. I have been overworking and not seeing enough of her. It is a hard transition into Fall. On a happy front, MKL and I have set our wedding date for next August at the spot in this picture, which will make everyone, including my dear departed parents, very happy.
I understand suicide. I have wanted to commit suicide. I have come achingly close. Only a promise to Kelsea has kept me from it. Depression lies, and one of the lies it tells you is that the world would be better off without you. And as a teenager, everything is so immediate that it is hard to see past the moment, past the pain, past the despair, to remember that yes, many people care about you, that you will have a bright future, that your parents will not ruin your life, all those things. I wish there was a way of showing every teenager who feels like this life is too hard that there is a future worth living for. If you are reading this, please, always remember that.
Topsail Beach, North Carolina.
Quote of the day: “Some people are just not meant to be in this world. It’s just too much for them.” — Phoebe Stone
Daily gratitudes:
Love and MKL
Cleaning out the refrigerator
Wedding gowns
Tamara
Ice cold pillows
Mr. Man
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October 5, 2014 at 7:20 pm
lucindalines
Congrats on the wedding date and such. So sorry to hear about the pain your daughter is feeling. I understand that deep depression so well, both personally and loss of a family member. Time never totally heals the wound it just fades it. May God hold you both at this time!
October 6, 2014 at 10:44 am
slpmartin
Sorry to hear about you daughter’s friend…may she find peace.
October 17, 2014 at 7:34 am
Maureen @ Josephina Ballerina
Hi Amy,
I, too, understand deep depression. It is always lurking in the background -and, all too often in the foreground. I am sorry one so young has ended her life. Deeply and truly sorry. And I am sorry for your daughter’s pain and your pain in watching her. Thank God you have your promise to Kelsea as a touch stone.
Topsail Beach looks more than wonderful. Thank God there are places like this in the world! And a happy wedding to look forward to! 🙂 🙂 m & jb