August 2016
An update is long overdue. But it will be a happy one, and I am happy to say that. MKL and I (the new man from the previous about) and I have been married just over a year. It is not perfect, and that is part of what makes it perfect. It is REAL. We do not yet live in the same house, which becomes harder daily, but we see each other daily. I think it is fine for slightly older couples to take time to blend households for many reasons. We miss each other more each day, and that is a good sign. I am still a writer, and no, did not finish a book in 2014, but perhaps this year. My depression has deepened with menopause, and I have gained more weight, which I’m not crazy about. But I love my husband and he loves me. I love my college sophomore daughter. I am friends with my ex-husband. I still have my Maine Coon, who will be 17 this year, and my haunted bungalow, which I feel my soul is outgrowing. MKL and I are looking at a future where we live somewhere warmer. I am still salty about my ex-boyfriend prior to MKL, because I discovered he lied, cheated, and was a total narcissistic sociopath. I am angry at myself for my own blindness and at him for using me. But that is something I will work through. It is hard to get through my own self-made barriers on many days, but love and faith and gratitudes have helped make me a stronger, kinder person with clearer boundaries. I am finding my voice again. And that is a very good thing. I am working too much, as I have done since I was 16, but it allows us some travel, and it is helping get Kelsea through college hopefully without loans. If I’ve done one thing right, it is give birth to this amazing person she’s becoming. That’s it until the next update.
—
December 2013
Have I changed? I am sure I have. Some things are the same, and I think after the turmoil of the years between 2006 and 2010, a certain calm in my life is a good thing. I have enjoyed less drama – have come to find drama unnecessary, in fact. I am still in my haunted bungalow. I am still with the new man, and we are now engaged, and have been for some time. We are in no rush to wed, but continue to learn of and from each other, and delight in watching our relationship deepen.
I still have my job as a writer, and my writing still improves. I am working on two novels, and am dedicated to finishing at least one of them in 2014. I am loving taking pictures and am working on putting up my own photo store on Etsy, which is exciting for me. I have put on a few pounds, and my fiancé loves me despite of it. My daughter has the most beautiful heart of anyone I have ever met. I adopted a 14-year old Maine Coon from the Humane Society as my birthday present to myself.
Now in my early 50s, I see both the future and the end as bright, beautiful places. It is strange to start thinking about the end at this age, perhaps, but there is a threshold we all cross sometime when we see both our past and current vision of the future, and feel the aches and pains of change, and look into the beyond. I am happy, and inspired to grow in many ways in the coming year.
—
February 2012
It has been just over a year since I last updated my “About” page. And it’s time. I am not where I thought I would be a year ago, but I am happy now, happy with the changes in my life and me. I bought my own house, a 112-year old haunted bungalow. I have a good full-time job as a proposal writer, working with people I really like, and taking on new challenges that are improving my overall writing skills. (And I’m still working myself to death with a second job as well.) I’ve been through a course of therapy that helped me see what I am worth – and what I deserve from others in my life – and what I am not willing to put up with.
After 10 months of being single, I am now in a new relationship (6 months into it) that feels healthier than any other I’ve been in. I’m still somewhat cautious, but trusting more every day, and enjoying not losing myself, but giving and sharing myself. I am happy with this kind, wonderful, fun, caring, spiritual , dedicated new man, and curious to see what comes next with us.
I still have part-custody of my wonderful daughter, now 15. She is going through more and more of the trials and tribulations of teenagehood, so I listen, I counsel cautiously, and I parent to the best of my abilities. She is fighting through with a good, level head on her shoulders. She is an amazing blessing.
Money is tight, my tropical travels have been severly curtailed. I have adopted my niece’s cat while she is in Nepal for another year. I am happy. It is a different kind of happiness than the wild, reckless sense of endless possibilities that I had a couple of years ago, but no less lovely.
My hair is getting thicker and longer, my eyes change color more often, and I will be half a century old this year. Some days I feel it. Most days I don’t.
And that’s about me. Until I change again.
—
January 2011
Who am I now? Up until two months ago, I was a woman starting over in a happy relationship. We had big plans together, and had been through a lot to be together. And then, suddenly, he ended it. He wanted to be alone – or with someone else. So now – again – I am starting over. While I am more actively pursuing a writing career, I am also pursuing a full-time job. Don’t most writers have full-time jobs? My heart has never been this broken and it is making every day a struggle. But one that I will get through somehow. These days though, I just feel lost.
My teenage daughter is an awesome person and a huge comfort, but I refuse to take advantage of that. As a good mom, I am trying to let her be on her own and separate from me. Since she has a tendency to want to take care of people, I don’t want her to fall into that trap with me. Still, she is the biggest blessing in my life.
These days, I feel older than my years, not very pretty, sadder than happier. I’ll update “About” next time that changes.
June 2010
Time for an update. I’m a nice woman who is rediscovering herself and her power. Transitioning now into a completely new life, I am in the midst of changes in love, work, spirituality, where I live and how I live. I am a good mother, and my daughter is, right now, a happy teenager. Shedding my old skin feels good. I’m almost 48, which really makes me look at the half-century mark, and wonder how much longer I have to play in this big earth. I certainly don’t feel 48, especially when I look into hazel-brown eyes that reflect my own – I feel like an 18-year old, just starting out with my whole life before me. I guess that means that you have your whole life before you at any age – you can always make a fresh start. Fresh, clear, clean, warm and happy.
My hair is starting to get longer and thicker. My smile is returning. I’ve lost almost 20 pounds and can see glimpses of my former pretty shape – I can definitely lose the rest of it! The weight loss is an excellent metaphor for the changes in my life – I am shedding a lot of things that weren’t serving me well in order to find my true self. I continue to be pleased and amazed by the path I am on.
November 2009
It’s time for an About update. I am 47 years old, newly divorced, and trying to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life. The last year has aged me, but I feel the aging reversal process will start soon. I have a wonderful daughter who is about to turn 13, and my ex-husband and I get along relatively well. It’s amazing the triggers I realize I have, though, now that I am out of my marriage. It’s a wonder I survived. I am trying to establish my personal identity as a writer and photographer, and making that my work and pleasure for the rest of my life. I love to travel, and I’m a beach person trapped in a mountain setting. I am grappling with my need to move to a Caribbean island and how I am going to make that work for my daughter, because I don’t want to always be apart from her. I’m in a fledgling relationship with a man who likes and respects me and feels like a partner and that’s really, really nice. My hair is getting thicker, but not longer. I need to lose some weight and lower my cholesterol. I have moments where I am happy these days and feel like I can see a warm, clear path to my dreams.
June 2009
Time to update who I am. Amazing how it can change so often – if your life is calm, maybe it doesn’t. I am stronger than I was six months ago, still a loving human being, exploring more of my own depth, at least when I can wade through the bog of daily life. I am stubborn. I am trying to figure out where to go next. I am a good mother. I have a powerful spiritual side when I can lasso it, and I want to try to make it more prevalent and accessible to myself. I love the rhythm of the sea. I need the energy of thunderstorms. I am on a journey of self-discovery that, with any luck, will take the rest of my life. My hair is still thin from stress and I am frustrated at the pace of change. But most importantly, I love.
January 2009
I have no idea who I am right now. I do not want who I am to be tied to someone else. But I got so wrapped up in this great new love, that now that he has left me, I am at a loss.
I now feel about 60. Stress is thinning my hair. I have lost 8 pounds in the last week. I haven’t eaten in two days. Let’s check back later and see who I am.
November 2008
Who am I is a question I am asking myself a lot these days, so I thought I’d answer the query here.
I am 46 years old, originally and always from North Carolina – once a southern girl, always a southern girl. I now live in Colorado – moved here 26 years ago, intending to stay for 2 years, but life’s what happens when you’re making other plans. It’s beautiful here, but it’s where I live, not the home of my heart, which is anywhere by the sea (hence ‘seasweetie’, which combines my love of the ocean and my dad’s nickname for me, which was ‘little sweetie’.)
In the past 3 years, I’ve lost both parents, a best friend and a dearly loved dog. I have a wonderful daughter who’s just turned 12. I left my husband of 18 years (together 24) in November, which has been hard, but I know it’s what I need to do in order to be happy for the rest of my life. He has gradually adjusted to the concept. I’ve worked two or three jobs for the past 8 years to support us, but I’ve always been a bit of a workaholic.
I’ve fallen in love for the first and last time now and that is thrilling, complex, frightening and wonderful. To find your soulmate is a rare thing in this life.
I was born asking where the next bus was, and have rediscovered my innate wanderlust in the past 4 years. Fortunately, one job has given me some opportunity to travel for work, and having a second/third job has allowed me to take myself and/or some combination of my family traveling for fun. Since I was 8 years old, I have dreamed of living in the Caribbean, and now my goal is to make that dream come true. But I will happily go anywhere in the world, love traveling alone and can find fun wherever I go.
I feel like I’m 20, have long brown hair, green eyes and my cheeks look like little apples when I smile, which is often.
65 comments
Comments feed for this article
May 12, 2010 at 10:49 am
imissyoupenguin
Hi! I saw you on WordPress’ front page. I’ve never seen an “About” page organized like this; it was really interesting to see how your descriptions changed over the past year. Congrats on making it on Freshly Pressed!
May 12, 2010 at 2:59 pm
Seasweetie
Thanks, imissyoupenguin – like your blog name!
September 21, 2010 at 12:17 am
ReadersHeaven
Hi, nice to meet you !
November 19, 2010 at 7:20 pm
TheIdiotSpeaketh
Good luck with your journey into your new life. You seem to have a great attitude about where you are at in life. I’m a 18yr old idiot trapped in a 45yr old body, trying to pick my way through the maze of life. Best of luck to you and your daughter. 🙂 (I also have a 13yr old…wonderful age..)
November 19, 2010 at 7:44 pm
Seasweetie
Thank you – you’re 100 things made me feel like I know a bit about you – I may try that! 13 is a wonderful age – in fact, 45 (or 48) is a wonderful age. At least we’re still wheezing through it and shooting for the moon
November 20, 2010 at 11:00 pm
Darlene
I loved reading your about page. I love your honesty, your open-ness. You are beautiful.
November 21, 2010 at 1:18 am
Seasweetie
Thank you, Darlene!
November 20, 2010 at 11:03 pm
liv2write2day
I love your story, seasweetie. It sounds like life is leading you to beautiful places.
November 21, 2010 at 1:19 am
Seasweetie
I hope so!
November 30, 2010 at 12:21 pm
apieceofthepiehole
It is great meeting you! I love your blog and your honest and postive outlook on what life throws at you!
November 30, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Seasweetie
Thanks! I’ve been enjoying your work as well!
December 7, 2010 at 11:35 am
Madison Woods
My god your story sounds very similar to mine. I’ve recently requested a divorce from my husband of 19 years so that I, too, can find happiness. He definitely doesn’t understand or agree with this notion. Also have recently met someone who seems to be my soul-mate and I’m excited about that brand-new frontier. My ‘self’ has gotten so weighed down by working to pay bills that it’s hard to know if I’m still being true to myself or not, but I’m working on that end of things, too.
Very nice to meet you. I liked your flash fiction based on the photo posted at Strangling My Muse.
December 7, 2010 at 11:47 am
Seasweetie
Nice to meet you too, Madison. I admire any woman who has the strength to try to make changes in her life that are healthier for her. I won’t deny that it’s a rocky road, and even if you feel like you have a soulmate as you exit your marriage, it seems to fall into place that you have to become centered in yourself before either of you can commit fully into a new relationship – especially after a long and less than fulfilling one. I hope to hear from you again!
December 7, 2010 at 11:58 am
Madison Woods
My husband had moved out more than a year before I finally requested the divorce. Although we had tried, my heart wasn’t in it to make a long distance marriage work.
I spent a hard winter here in the rural Ozarks alone with my son and managed to get a LOT of soul-searching done during that time… so I definitely feel ready to move on.
The decision to stay here, where my soul is in touch with nature, was the killing blow to what was left of our marriage, and that was the hardest choice I think I’ve ever made – to choose my own happiness and needs over that of someone else close to me.
Did you ever make your move to the Caribbean mentioned in one of your updates?
December 7, 2010 at 12:06 pm
Seasweetie
Not yet, but it will happen. It may just take a little longer than I thought (was hoping for next year). With my daughter entering high school next year, I am torn between going and staying. And a lot depends on the direction that my relationship takes, which is a little up in the air right now. Your words ‘ to choose my own happiness and needs over that of someone else close to me’ strike a chord right now. No matter what I do or where I go, my relationship will stay strong, but I am uncertain about whether it’s right to put my daughter before myself for a few more years. She and I have discussed it, and of course, she says she doesn’t want me too, but I don’t entirely believe her and we love being together. A quandry indeed.
The Ozarks are so beautiful and peaceful. My grandmother lived there and I spent a summer there when I was 15 – always wished to go back, and will one day soon.
March 1, 2011 at 10:56 am
cloudmarchjourney
Hello there, Seasweetie! I love how you have set up your ‘About Me’ page with updates. How brilliant is that! It’s a wonderful way to share yourself with us … thank you for including us so intimately.
I’ve been where you are … so the best spiritual/life advice I can give is to hang in there! I know the loss of what felt like (finally) a soul mate after a divorce (though in my case I was the ‘divorced’ person). At any rate, that is a terrific blow to feel. It took me 2 years to get over it … sigh. But the happy news is that it only took another 2 years to meet my current sweetie … the gem of them all! And here’s the clincher … I never viewed him as my soul mate. Yet here we are 6 years later … very committed and deeply in love. Go figure!
I loved your ‘Freshly Pressed’ blog post about the alpacas. You’ve got some wonderful photography there! I enjoyed myself thoroughly. Thank you!
Bless and joy to you … get ready for the fun stuff that is headed your way!
March 1, 2011 at 11:43 pm
Seasweetie
Welcome, cloudmarchjourney – love your blog name! Thank you for the encouragement – I can use every morsel of it. I hope you’ll join me on my journey.
March 2, 2011 at 6:32 am
bamboosana
Scars reveal where we are … are wounds healed …
March 2, 2011 at 7:54 am
Seasweetie
I like that thought, bamboosana – and every scar has a story.
April 2, 2011 at 6:10 pm
eliza keating
Delighted to come across your blog..We have alote in common…wish you the best of luck with the house and your writing ..ELiza Keating
April 2, 2011 at 6:17 pm
Seasweetie
Thank you, Eliza – I love Glasgow, and I am a Kilbride by marriage – so we have even more in common.! I look forward to reading some of your work.
June 28, 2011 at 8:02 pm
Catherine
Wow. Your about page is so powerful, so heartbreaking and so beautiful all a tthe same time. I loved the updates and being able to look at where you’ve been. Because really, how can you know where you are going if you don’t know where you’ve been? Keep writing – you are so talented. And keep dreaming of the Caribbean. I sooo want to move there someday. So much that I could never post so many awesome beach pictures on my blog as you do because the desire would overwhelm me! 🙂 Love your blog!
June 28, 2011 at 10:52 pm
Seasweetie
Thank you, Catherine – I’m an admirer of your openness on your blog, so that means a lot coming from you. As for the Caribbean? Hey, it’s no dream – it’s at the conclusion of the 5-year plan! It’s almost time to update the about page, I think.
July 10, 2011 at 8:35 am
balladeer
Love your stuff! I subscribed today!
July 15, 2011 at 8:01 am
starbear
On feeling lost… No matter where you go, there you are! Never lost, just missing our “selves.” So often, as women, we lose our selves in relationships. Good for you in wanting to not lose you in your daughter and vice versa! Kudos and joy on your journey!
July 15, 2011 at 9:05 am
Seasweetie
Thank you, starbear – I’m glad you stopped by. It’s funny I rarely feel lost in travelling in the physical world, even when I am, but I can tend towards it so in my emotional world. Yes, I miss my “self” and am hoping to find her again soon.
September 29, 2011 at 9:00 am
mrbillmccoy
You’ve got this dialed in! Truly amazing how you can track your growth by periodic updates… I might try something like this.
September 29, 2011 at 8:43 pm
Seasweetie
I’m glad you like it, mrbill! Thanks for the reminder that it’s time to update it! How life changes…
October 11, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Laura4NYC
Well, writing can always be therapeutic… 🙂
October 11, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Seasweetie
It is, Laura. Thanks for dropping in!
January 2, 2012 at 4:31 pm
....RaeDi
Your spirit is open, like the sea… you let others feel your breeze… thank you for stopping by and I love your photos and words. Remember the Caribbean will always be there when the time is right….RaeDi
January 2, 2012 at 11:13 pm
Seasweetie
Thank you, RaeDi.
January 6, 2012 at 12:10 am
Danlrene ©2011
I have nominated you for the versatile blog award. You can find information on what to do at this link: http://workthedream.wordpress.com/2012/01/05/3898/
I really enjoy the blog…:)
January 6, 2012 at 10:15 am
Seasweetie
Thank you so much, DanIrene! I’m so honored and pleased that you like the blog!
January 25, 2012 at 5:20 pm
cinnageek
Ta da! I nominated you for the versatile blogger award. http://cinnawitch.wordpress.com/2012/01/25/the-versatile-blogger-award-surprises/
if you decide to do it and link you can use this acct or my 365 one. I’m not too worried. 🙂 ❤
January 25, 2012 at 9:58 pm
Seasweetie
Thank you so much, Cin! Hugs!
January 29, 2012 at 12:33 pm
cinnageek
these memes are getting out of control. I might have to stop doing them soon… but you’ve been tagged in a question meme. Please feel free to avoid it if you want 🙂
January 29, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Seasweetie
I don’t even know how that works, Cin! I’m now feeling soooo last century..
February 5, 2012 at 2:17 pm
l0ve0utl0ud
Dear SeaSweetie,
I love reading your blog – your daily gratitudes have inspired me to start a gratitude journal! For this reason, I would like to nominate you for the Versatile Blogger Award (although I know that you have already been nominated before).
For all details, please see the following link:
http://l0ve0utl0ud.wordpress.com/2012/01/11/versatile-blogger-award/
With love
February 7, 2012 at 12:26 am
Elena
Bravo! You are an incredibly strong lady and I’m sure your dream will come true.. because those who follow their hearts regardless of how painful it can be.. always, always.. stand on the top of the hill.. with happy tears ; )
love & light to you and your family!
rock on!
let there always be a road..
el
February 23, 2012 at 5:02 pm
....RaeDi
Hello, for having such a spectacular and beautiful blog I am honored to pass on the Liebster Blog Award to you! Come by and read my post and you will see what you need to do!
February 23, 2012 at 10:31 pm
Seasweetie
Thank you so very much, RaeDi! I am honored and delighted.
February 23, 2012 at 11:04 pm
....RaeDi
You deserve it and have fun with it!
April 28, 2012 at 8:35 pm
cherie peacock
exPat will recover and your life will become yours once again. i had sepsis july 2010 and came precariously close to dying. after 6 weeks of daily antibiotics through a picc line, i was declared infection free. whoops, not, the infection settled in my spine. another hospital stay, 3 months of daily antibiotics, 3 months of physical therapy and i was on the road to recovery. i still have some nerve damage to my left leg and foot, but i’m walking, talking and living each day to the fullest. you’re doing what you feel is necessary for exPat, your daughter and the house of which you still own half. persevere. it seems you are. he’s lucky to have your commitment to still care about him and his health not to mention the home he has made a disaster area. carry on. one foot in front of the other. you’re to be commended and blessed.
April 29, 2012 at 9:14 pm
Seasweetie
Thank you so very much for your encouraging words, cherie, and the world is blessed that you are still in it!
June 12, 2012 at 2:08 pm
jakesprinter
You have a great page here my friend 🙂
June 12, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Seasweetie
Thanks for visiting, Jake! 🙂
September 7, 2012 at 11:30 am
katherinegivens808
I have nominated you for the Sunshine Award! Go to my website to learn how to accept.
September 7, 2012 at 3:22 pm
Seasweetie
Thank you, Katherine! This made my day!
September 7, 2012 at 4:53 pm
jotsfromasmallapt
You’ve made it….to the other side….
Welcome Home!
(Amazing [unfinished] life story and….well said.)
PS. Thank you sincerely for dropping by JOTS!
September 7, 2012 at 8:41 pm
Seasweetie
Thanks, jots – I look forward to following you around like a puppy!
September 7, 2012 at 9:31 pm
jotsfromasmallapt
Too funny….snort!
February 12, 2013 at 10:17 pm
awesomearchitecture
Hi
I would like to invite you to join http://damnitsawesome.com
A community of bloggers who write about Architecture, Fashion, Photography, Automobiles and much more.
Would like to hear from you 🙂
March 3, 2013 at 10:42 am
natalie
Hello there, It’s the Black Swan, Natalie, from the Shining Ball a couple years ago. I remember your costumes they were awesome! Were you at the ball in 2012?
March 3, 2013 at 11:37 am
Seasweetie
Hi, Natalie!!!! So great to hear from you! We didn’t go last year because of Michael’s work. 😦 And we missed it a lot. Did you and Mary go? We’re there for sure this year – making reservations soon so we won’t miss out. Are you planning on going?
March 3, 2013 at 11:39 am
natalie
I went last year, but my mom did not. You missed a good one. I won scariest costume! I’ll be there again this year and would love to sit with you two again.
March 3, 2013 at 4:48 pm
Seasweetie
Congratulations!! What did you go as last year? We’d love to hang with you…
April 8, 2013 at 2:25 pm
Mike Albright
I am a huge fan of this blog. I am just now getting around to commenting though. Not sure why. I enjoyed your About Me addition. Life is an adventure. And adventures are risky. But full of wonder if we look. Salut.
April 8, 2013 at 3:32 pm
Seasweetie
Better late than never, Mike!
August 24, 2015 at 12:36 pm
Jess
I nominated you for a thing ❤️ http://halfgirlhalfteacup.com/2015/08/24/sisterhood-of-the-world-award/
August 27, 2015 at 7:41 pm
Seasweetie
Thanks, Jess!
August 24, 2015 at 12:43 pm
Elm
It’s lovely to see how your life has progressed, throughout the years, JUST on this about page. I’m so glad that you’re engaged and that you’re happy 🙂
August 27, 2015 at 7:42 pm
Seasweetie
Thank you, Elm! It’s time I did another update. 🙂
December 7, 2016 at 1:51 pm
transcribingmemory
I stumbled across your blog and I am very intrigued. I look forward to following and reading your candor and wonderful style.
December 8, 2016 at 9:05 pm
Seasweetie
Thank you, transcribing memory. I’m glad you found me.