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Today’s love note goes out to Dr. Grey.

Dear Dr. Grey,
While medical nonsense is about my least favorite thing on earth (and don’t get me started on the bills), you have renewed my faith in the helping nature of the profession. During our interactions in the last month, you’ve shown just the right amount of compassion, a willingness to listen to my thoughts, and the humility to admit that you don’t know everything, and sometimes, we just have to work together to figure out why things — like my heart — don’t always do what they’re supposed to do, and what my “normal” is, even though in my case (big surprise) my normal isn’t exactly normal. I trust you, and that’s not something that I say often to another person, especially not a doctor. Thank you, from the bottom of my long QT. I’m glad you’re on my side.

A quote for today: “A good heart is better than all the heads in the world.” — Edward G. Bulwar-Lytton\




Pardon me for waxing mushy for a post…

When I met MKL (through eHarmony, yes), I had no idea he would become my husband. When we had been matched (on my birthday), I had shown his picture to Kelsea and asked what she thought. She approved, so we did the little email-y, question-asky thing that eHarmony has you do, and it went well. And then I didn’t hear from him. And I didn’t hear from him. And one day, while we were at Topsail, and I was suffering from some stomach juju, I said to Kelsea, “Remember that nice guy that I was emailing with? He hasn’t responded to me. Do you think I should nudge him (because that’s what you can do on eHarmony) or should I just let it go?” “You liked him, right? Nudge him,” she said. So I did. He answered. When Kelsea and I got back, MKL and I had our first phone conversation. I was sitting in a camp chair on my front porch with a glass of red wine. We talked for an hour, and agreed to have lunch. He walked me back to my office after that lunch and kissed me on the cheek. When I got back inside, everyone said I was glowing. I never stopped glowing.

MKL knew that I was someone he had been looking for and hoping for. It took me a bit longer to figure that out , and I am so glad that I caught up with him. I cannot imagine my life and my future without him. He holds my heart and understands me as no one has. We are not identical, and we have our own opinions, but our spirits are shared and that makes me richer than anything else ever could. What a blessing, my MKL.

Rings! 0428
(Photo credit: Issy Kilbride)

Quote of the day: “There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”  — Sarah Dessen

Daily gratitudes:
The shaking bowl today
A warm Mr. Man in my lap
Physical therapy
Kelsea’s and my agreed-upon text code

This lovely random heart was temporarily tattooed on a brick wall on 15th Street.  It was gone by the next day, but it made me smile.  Happy Feast of Saint Valentine.

Heart Love Graffiti

Denver, Colorado.

Quote of the day: “Age does not protect you from love, but love, to some extent, protects you from age.”  —  Jeanne Moreau

Daily gratitudes:
Snuggly cats

The loveliest hearts are crafted by hand and take infinite time to realize their whole beauty.

Jost van Dyke, British Virgin Islands.

Quote of the day: “The dream is the small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctum of the soul, which opens to that primeval cosmic night that was soul long before there was conscious ego and will be soul far beyond what a conscious ego could ever reach.”  —  Carl Jung

Daily gratitudes:
The magpie perched on the back of the reclining cow
The first calves of the season
The last remaining Christmas lights on the tree across the street
My pug pillow, which makes me feel like there’s a pug sitting at the end of the red couch, watching me

Today’s guest poet  —  e.e. cummings  (I so enjoyed reading more of his work after photokunstler said she was fond of him. His poetry is amazing, slightly bizarre, and quite thought-provoking.)

being to timelessness as it’s to time

being to timelessness as it’s to time,
love did no more begin than love will end:
where nothing is to breathe to stroll to swim
love is the air the ocean and the land

(do lovers suffer? all divinities
proudly descending put on deathful flesh:
are lovers glad? only their smallest joy’s
a universe emerging from a wish)

love is the voice under all silences,
the hope which has no opposite in fear:
the strength so strong mere force is feebleness:
the truth more first than sun more last than star

— do lovers love? why then to heaven with hell.
whatever sages say and fools, all’s well

Marvelous artist Michael Durst’s work is available here:

Today’s guest poet —  Maya Angelou


Your hands easy
weight, teasing the bees
hived in my hair, your smile at the
slope of my cheek. On the
occasion, you press
above me, glowing, spouting
readiness, mystery rapes
my reason

When you have withdrawn
your self and the magic, when
only the smell of your
love lingers between
my breasts, then, only
then, can I greedily consume
your presence.

Choix du Coeur

Shall I wear widow’s weeds?

Drape the mirrors in black crepe
so I cannot see the age and pain
in my reflection?
so my soul
does not get trapped
within the glass?

Shall I pad the carpets
so my footfalls
are silent?

All in mourning for
years of dreams
cast aside
by a callow
sleight of hand?

Perhaps so,
on chilled and rainy March days
when it seems the warmth is lost

For the remaining days, though,
I will wear the colors of the Caribbean
and hope my eyes reflect the sun.
I will trace my fingers through
imaginary sand
and watch as light falls
into remembered seas
growning new again.

The wine tonight is
   an ironic little red
called Il Bastardo.
It complements
   the raw meat of my heart
So well.

That same heart
you once held
beating in your hands
one night.

Do you remember?

I said
what are you doing to me
You said
what does it feel like
I said
it feels like you are holding my heart
You said
i am.

On a night that is
What neither of us
Would have expected

cook chicken
want for a splatter screen
listen to a forgotten thunderstorm
watch the headlights of cars in the dimness of sunset

And remember you.

Since, as I have said before, I feel that gratitude may be an important missing link in my life, I am starting the daily blessings page – daily may be pushing it at first but it’s important that we all remember to look for the little things that bring us joy.  (And one of those is that I can indeed sound like a Hallmark card on occassion, and so have reason to laugh at myself.)

Please feel free to send a comment with something that warmed your heart today, and in the days to come, and I’ll be happy to include it here.  The more we see to be grateful for, and the more we share the little joys with one another, the stronger and happier we will all feel.

April 2021


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