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This image was taken this spring at the University of Oregon in Eugene, a piece north of Roseburg where the shooting at Umpqua Community College took place this morning. I felt it represented the emptiness that many souls in Oregon may feel tonight, and the ordinariness of a space in a college campus that can change from peaceful to terrifying in an instant.
My daughter is now in college in Washington State, and even a state away, this kind of tragedy is too close to home. Having lived in Colorado during the Columbine shooting, when Kelsea was very small, I found that too hit close to home as well, simply because I had a child who was just starting school. Letting your child go to a place that is supposed to be safe, and then realizing that there is no such thing anymore, elicits a level of deep, maternal, instinctive, protective fear. I won’t get started on the dynamics I have had with my daughter of wanting to protect her, because that’s a very long story, and that’s an area in which she has always insisted on making her own decisions. I know exactly what her decision would be in an incident like today’s. She would be the one running in to stop things, not the one running out to safety. And that’s a fact I have to live with, that she would give her own life to save another person’s.
As a residual from Columbine, and listening to her talk about some of the attitudes at her high school, I was always a bit angsty about a school shooting there, but I thought that feeling would pass when she went to college. Apparently, I was wrong. I know though, that worrying does no good, and helps no one. I have no control over the actions of others. I can only put a white light around my daughter 1399.9 miles away every day and every night and hope it makes a difference.
Tonight, I say prayers for and send white light to those parents, students, and friends whose lives changed forever today. And for my friends in the Bahamas and North Carolina, to keep them safe from the ravages of Hurricane Joaquin.
Quote of the day: “She was asleep in her freshly made bed. I can’t explain how relieved I felt for this simple mercy. She was here and safe on clean sheets.” — Laura Anderson Kurk
The hope that a new doctor will help my pinched nerve
Seeing things before they’re gone
Working towards our future
Our spring has been late and wet, and though our daffodils have come and gone, as have our tulips, our iris are starting to pop out, so I’ll see if I can’t share some of those with you tomorrow. While I have no garden this year, I do have a few pots of pretty things and right now, that is enough. Mr. Man is still not doing well, but the vet came today and took some blood, so we hope to have some answers shortly, and get him back on the road to happiness. We should all be on that road, don’t you think?
Quote of the day; “Love is the extremely difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.” — Iris Murdoch
Big fat raindrops and rumbling thunder
A vet who is simpatico
The pressure of a warm cat against my legs under the blanket
That MKL fixed my lawn mower
I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a brown egg. I’m sure I’ve never eaten a green one. I’ll take two, with a slice of ham.
While my darling daughter has chosen to go somewhere other than Portland State University, we loved how the Portland Farmer’s Market was right in the school’s quadrangle.
Quote of the day: “Probably one of the most private things in the world is an egg before it is broken.” — M.F.K. Fisher
Things that make me laugh
That irises are finally blooming
Letting go of the past
Carmen Miranda earrings
Please send some healing energy in the direction of my beloved cat, Mr. Man. He seems to be ailing, and I have not been able to get ahold of the vet yet, but I am worried.
We love Portland. That the Farmer’s Market is held on Saturdays right in the middle of the Portland State “campus” really made it feel like an intimately integral part of the city itself. And nobody in the whole Farmer’s Market was talking or texting. They were all interacting with each other. And in Oregon, they pump your gas for you. No one has done that for me at a gas station since I was 17.
It’s beautiful. The drive up Hwy. 101 in Oregon was magical. I wish I could have stopped more often and taken more pictures. It is definitely a future destination for MKL and myself. As for now, Kelsea’s and my journey continues…
Highway 101, Oregon.
(Our internet connections have been dicey at best, so I’ll have more to share in a few days).
Who knows what’s behind this red door in the turquoise building in Portland’s Chinatown?
Quote of the day: “We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.” — Mary Dunbar
No, it’s not Texas (are you listening, idiot?). It’s Portland. And it’s another shot in our “C’mon, Spring!!” series.
Quote of the day: “Every spring is the only spring — a perpetual astonishment.” — Ellis Peters
Swearing at the gas pump
My orange cover-up
Being able to support my kindred spirits