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Still not ready for words. Let us be led by love.

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Cozumel, Mexico.

Quote of the day: “There is no ‘way to peace,’ there is only ‘peace.” — Mahatma Gandhi

Daily gratitudes:
That MKL makes me laugh
Peek-a-boo with a baby
Sharing feelings with Mohammed
Having a voice to help others
Kelsea’s new job

Today had best be mostly wordless. Sending peace and love to all.

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Cozumel, Mexico.

Quote of the day: “Whatever may be the tensions and the stresses of a particular day, there is always lurking close at hand the trailing beauty of forgotten joy or unremembered peace.” — Howard Thurman

Daily gratitudes:
MKL’s love and support
Lunch with a dear friend
An expedited passport request
Mr. Man’s paw on my heart
Trying to make sense of our world

 

 

I believe that on the other side of the darkness of depression is beauty, like this tunnel to the sea. Depression is tricky. People can’t see it. I can hide it from myself, from MKL, from anyone who knows me well. I don’t do so to be disingenuous. It’s just that it’s my problem. Inside, I believe it’s boring and it’s shameful, and I don’t deserve to be depressed because my life is good and rich, and it’s just me being whiny. I mean after all, how many times have I written about it? That’s how depression works though. It tells you you’re not worth anything. It takes a lot to move through its tunnel. And I’m moving now, towards the beautiful piece of blue. Thank heavens, and let’s hope this forward motion lasts longer than a day or two.

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Cozumel, Mexico.

Quote of the day: “You say you’re ‘depressed’ – all i see is resilience. You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn’t mean you’re defective – it just means you’re human.” — David Mitchell

Daily gratitudes:
2,000 words
A compromise position for Mr. Man
Helping
My first piece of art
That Trevor is okay

 

Sealongings

Waves are formless and endless,
Their gentle rush and lion’s roar
A sound that fills ears, shells, and spirits.

I think that people who complain
That the sea is too loud,
That it disturbs their slumber,
Must be missing a small piece of their soul.
Perhaps the sea has swallowed it and
has yet to give it back.

It holds mine in its fathoms.
It lets me breathe unencumbered beneath the surface.
It rolls in a rhythm that matches my heartbeat.
It serves as a grateful vessel for my tears.
It cools and feeds my passions.

Far away, I hear that gentle rush
In conch shells on the shelves of coffee shops
And in dreams.
Always in dreams.

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Anegada, British Virgin Islands.

Quote of the Day: “The voice of the sea speaks to the soul.” — Kate Chopin

Daily gratitudes:
Birds in the trees
Mr. Man’s paw on my knee
Kelsea’s writing and her sense of justice
New tickets leading to new adventures
Not having to shovel my sidewalk

 

 

Here’s a quick post to usher in the weekend. I am feeling strangely anxious this evening, and have little to say,  other than that. Tomorrow, it’s the Colorado chainsaw massacre. Let’s hope it’s only the dead tree that loses limbs, not MKL or me.

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Ventanas al Mar, Cozumel, Mexico.

Quote of the day: “There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.” — Patrick Rothfuss

Daily gratitudes:
Brand new baby cows
The light on the snow on Long’s Peak
How MKL makes me smile a smile that spreads to others
The neighbor’s grandson playing basketball on the back patio
Little girls wearing princess dresses in the middle of the day for no reason other than that they want to, and mothers who understand that and let them

More playing with shadows. That phrase carries so much innuendo, doesn’t it? Shadows are fascinating toys in photography, playmates in life (for haven’t we all played with our shadows on the sidewalk in the sun?), and things that creep around in the corners of the darkest rooms in our souls. On the playa, they are simple. There are shadows from shells, as we saw in yesterday’s post, shadows from palm trees, shadows from palapas. You are probably saying, silly Seasweetie, these are not shadows on the sand. It’s just wet sand washed by the waves. Perhaps you are right. But perhaps as shadows inhabit our memories, the sand holds the memory of the waves that move and touch it.

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Cozumel, Mexico.

Quote of the day: “Our imagination flies — we are its shadow on the earth.” — Vladimir Nabokov

Daily gratitudes:
Spending the day helping a stranger who is now a new friend
Starting House of Cards on Netflix
Windchimes
The caw of a lone seagull
That Kelsea and I have little things that make us miss each other

 

 

My heart is made of sand and sea and sun and shells, touched by the occasional storm and moved by passing trade winds.

Next to the dining space – for it could not be called a room – of what I think of as “our place” in Mexico stood a tree, its branches decorated with hearts. Glass hearts of pink and red and turquoise, carved folk art hearts, silver hearts in which we could see the reflections of ourselves, beautifully distorted, and hearts of shells, like this one. Delicately constructed, yet each piece unique, each element far stronger than one could imagine, having been tossed and tumbled by waves for years while remaining unbroken. Not unlike my heart.

Shell of my Heart
Cozumel, Mexico.

Quote of the day: “Everybody needs a seashell in her bathroom to remind her the ocean is her home.” — Sue Monk Kidd

Daily gratitudes:
Attending my first caucus
New friends who are awkward kindred spirits
Lunch today with MKL
Having my toes tucked under Mr. Man
The amazing sky and light tonight

 

I had forgotten that we had the same touch of rainbow at the end of our pre-wedding party as we had at the end of our wedding. I’m pretty sure that was my parents smiling lovingly down on us. I believe they approve.

A Touch of Rainbow

Topsail Beach, North Carolina.

Quote of the day: “Magic exists. Who can doubt it, when there are rainbows and wildflowers, the music of the wind and the silence of the stars? Anyone who has loved has been touched by magic. It is such a simple and such an extraordinary part of the lives we live.” — Nora Roberts

Daily gratitudes:
A little cooking
A little cleaning
A happy cat
MKL
Air conditioning

Fishing is a big part of most island communities, and Topsail is no exception. While the shrimp crop is smaller than it used to be, due to overfishing, you can still see the shrimp boats trolling off the coast early in the morning, followed by a flock of seagulls. I, unfortunately, did not get up early enough to see the boats this trip, but these baskets are waiting for a catch.

Waiting for Todays Catch
Surf City, North Carolina

Quote of the day: “The clouds were building up now for the trade wind and he looked ahead and saw a flight of wild ducks etching themselves against the sky over the water, then blurring, then etching again and he knew no man was ever alone on the sea.” — Ernest Hemingway

Daily gratitudes:
Hanging with my former animals
Prayers and intentions
Recovering items dear to my Mother
A cooler day
That Kelsea and Pat made it to Seattle successfully

All pink and blue, unlike our swirling yet unfulfilled storm clouds here in Lafayette this afternoon. And speaking of babies – or those who are no longer babies – my darling daughter goes off to college orientation tomorrow. Then she comes back, which is good, but then she will go away again. I guess that is the way of it. As today’s quote says, we all leave a bit of ourselves behind when we leave a place. I have left much of myself at Topsail. My darling daughter will leave much of herself here. But we both have so much more to see and do and give, and an endless amount of ourselves to leave behind in the places we will love.

Baby SKy
Topsail Beach, North Carolina.

Quote of the day: “We leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place, we stay there, even though we go away. And there are things in us that we can find again only by going back there.” — Pascal Mercier

Daily gratitudes:
Making it through a tough day
MKL
Sharing Kelsea’s excitement about college housing
Our two new wooden parrots
Voyager

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