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Thanks to all who have served our country.  You are not forgotten.

Black Hills National Cemetery, Sturgis, South Dakota.

Quote of the day: “Have you ever stopped to ponder the amount of blood spilt, the volume of tears shed, the degree of pain and anguish endured, the number of noble men and women lost in battle so that we as individuals might have a say in governing our country?  Honor the lives sacrificed for your freedoms.”  —  Richelle E. Goodrich

Daily gratitudes:
A snuggly weekend
Bunny tracks
Beach calendars
Kelsea’s music

It’s been a very rough couple of days.  Losing a relationship is like giving birth.  It’s painful, inevitable and I have no idea what’s going to come out (there’s no ultrasound for the future).  But it does get a little bit easier day by day, although I can backslide sometimes (and that doesn’t usually happen with labor.)

This morning, I feel a little better.  And I wanted to take a minute to specifically thank a few people who helped me.

AnotherOther1 – thank you for your empathy, emails and concern.  You know more about what is happening with me than almost anyone, and your support across the miles means more to me than words can say.

The Idiot – As I was trying to go to sleep last night, I thought again about your spine-crushing cyberhug.  I really needed that.  And the fact that you always seem to make me laugh.

Slpmartin – your poetry moves me daily, and your poem for me last night helped take me to a quiet and strong place, even if only for a few minutes – but today, it will take me there for a few minutes more, and tomorrow for a few minutes more.

Celeste – you have been a support and kindred spirit for some time now, and I wish we were both spending winter somewhere warm, but I am so glad to have you as my compatriot in our laments against the cold.  You’re inspiring me to try to find the positives in winter.

Jingle – your work to collect marvelous new poetry in one place and to showcase the work of others is special and unselfish and has made my muse bloom. Your positive and sympathetic nature shines through with every word.

Erik – you’ve known me since I was – what – six years old?  And so you know me.  Thanks for still being there, even if it’s in the cyberworld now.

Sagerider – you are the other one who truly knows what I am feeling, and your words often bring peace to me because of our shared spirit.  I hold you gently in my heart always.

Kelsea – my girl, who is the only reason I am still here and whom I love with all my heart and soul.

Charlotte – my sister from another mother, who has always understood me, never judged me, and is, as ever, insightful into my soul.

Thanks so much to all of you.  Whether you’re present in my physical space or in cyberspace, you probably have no idea how much impact your caring has had on me when I have been in trouble, like I have been the past couple of days.  You’ve given me hope and that keeps me going.

I know my pain will come back; I know I will go back to a bad place.  But I know it won’t be as bad as it was, and that’s in part because of your support.

One friend in particular said he prays for me daily.  I too need to remember to thank the universe for the blessings in my life, as I used to when I was writing Daily Blessings.  So I hope to try to end most posts in the future with a short gratitude list.  So aside from all of you, here’s what I am thankful for right now:

That I woke up this morning; the sprinkling of snow falling from the sky; Benadryl, for this weird allergy thing – I think I’m allergic to something in Lemon Drop Martinis; my Santa Hat.

Love to you all.

Since I am in the throes of depression today, I am not writing, but for these random thoughts. 

Blessings for today:

I tidied the pantry and it looks much nicer.
Kelsea’s best friend is spending the night.  I like her.  She’s like a second daughter.
Hydrocodone works well on bad menstrual cramps.

Dilemma Of The Day:  My landlord sent me an email a few months ago, and mentioned in passing that his 15-year old daughter was not allowed to be alone in the house with her boyfriend.  No particular instructions to me, just FYI.  Well, yesterday I came into the big house to put my laundry in the dryer.  To do so, I have to pass through said daughter’s room.  As I opened the door, there was a rustling, and I hestitated and called out “Hello?” (She hadn’t been home when I’d put the laundry in the washer.)  She was in bed, covers up to her neck, and said very loudly, “Oh, hi!  I was just taking a nap!”  She certainly didn’t sound sleepy and the bed looked as if someone had just gotten out of it.  I apologized profusely for disturbing her, she said it was fine and she would go back to sleep now.  As I left, I noticed her boyfriend’s car out front.  Hmmm, I thought.  Well, when I went back to get the laundry out of the dryer, I opened the door, and I heard them in the shower.  I mean I HEARD them in the shower.  Sex in the shower sounds the same if you’re 48 or 15.  Unmistakeable moans and groans.  I backed out most hastily, and they never knew I was there.  But what do I do?  Do I tell her dad?  Do I talk to her?  I don’t even know her.  Do I tell my landlady (who’s her dad’s boyfriend)?  Eww.  Awkward.  I don’t like ratting out young love, but I don’t want to contribute to a 15-year old’s unwise choices.  Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks to the Idiot (  for introducing me to some wonderful new blogs.  I feel like I’m making new friends, and will be updating the blogroll very soon.  Thanks to AnotherOtherWoman ( for the reminder to look for blessings each day.  And thanks to The Unabridged Girl ( for the concept of Project Happiness – it sounds like a fantastic idea and one in which I want to participate.

I have left the two main characters of my novel lying exhausted on a beach in the Caribbean.  I think they will be sufficiently recovered next week so the tale can continue.

As for me, I am lonely and confused and sad.  Love is the greatest blessing in the world and the biggest pain in the ass.

Since, as I have said before, I feel that gratitude may be an important missing link in my life, I am starting the daily blessings page – daily may be pushing it at first but it’s important that we all remember to look for the little things that bring us joy.  (And one of those is that I can indeed sound like a Hallmark card on occassion, and so have reason to laugh at myself.)

Please feel free to send a comment with something that warmed your heart today, and in the days to come, and I’ll be happy to include it here.  The more we see to be grateful for, and the more we share the little joys with one another, the stronger and happier we will all feel.

January 2020
« Jan    


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